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Self Love = Self Care
It's very common to get caught up in life. And the most common thing is to push through any blockages that come in your path. But at what expense is it time to stop...take a deep breath...and just sit in what's going on or address take care of yourself. I can admit there are times when I constantly keep pushing through but I remember what it feels like to be "burnt out" or just a full shutdown. Once that pops back into my head it realigns me personally to pay attention to small signs and signals. If I realize that I'm constantly tired, not getting enough sleep etc. I know that I need to block off sometime during the weekend to just do "nothing". I focus on resting, not doing anything that's draining or surrounding myself with negative energy. I like to call it "protecting my peace". When I use this on a weekly bases it keeps be balanced, rested and best prepared to be alert for anything coming my way. Self love is taking care of yourself which is Self Care. I used to feel guilty when I would take time for myself but then I realized how much I help others and used to overextend myself. Then reality settles in that if I don't take care of myself, who will? If you feel like your burning yourself out or just constantly drained...It's time for your to unplug and charge yourself back to 100%. Here are some ways you can incorporate self love and self care: - Mediation - Facials (even at home masks) - Baths (can use a bath bomb and light some candles; make it ROMANTICAL lol) - Working out - Reading a book to open your mind or learn something new - Going out with friends (drama free) - Spa treatment - And Plain Old SLEEP What are something you do for self care? Until next time.......Take care of yourself! - Life Coach Nikki
Perfection isn't for Everyone
Perfection is a word that I hate but love at the same time. The part that I hate is when it's used as a measure of success. Mainly because PERFECTION doesn't exist and you are settling yourself up for failure by trying to attain it. Take a look at the definition: the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects. Now if start thinking of the areas that you are striving for it...I want you to also think of if you succeeded. Normally the usual reaction was...."Damn, I was so close". This is when it leads you down a never ending hole with no answers. The part that I love about the word is when it's used from a different perspective. It's like when you receive a new article of clothing and it's fitting just right. It could be because you lost weight or maybe you've learned to appreciate those extra curves and it no longer bothers you. Another common feeling is when you've just had a breakthrough about your life and you realize that you are you and no longer trying to be someone you're not. It's a breath of fresh air and just the feeling of being free with no chains or baggage holding you back. When you are in a position of your life where you focus on yourself and what you want opposed to trying to find solutions for everyone else's problem. Life is all what you make it. A lot of time, you just have to change the lens you are viewing it from! Until next time...Thank you for reading! - Your Favorite Life Coach Nikki
Quit before you get started?!?
Stopping yourself before you get started is the worst thing you could do but the hardest decision you made. I say it's the hardest decision to make because you are literally making a decision if you are going to move forward with your dream/goal or quit on yourself before you even begin. A lot of people have a hard time giving up on themselves but honestly they do it often. A funny fact is those same people quitting on themselves support everyone else around them without hesitation. There are many reasons why it's harder to trust yourself. Let me list some of them and you let me know which ones hit home. - Scared of failure - Worried about judgement - Not sure where to begin - Personal insecurities - Control If any of these are your sources...Let me be the first to tell you that you are not alone. The important thing is that you know what's holding you back but don't know or don't want to push through it due to uncertainty. I have the solution for you but you may not like it. YOU CAN'T MOVE THROUGH ANYTHING WITHOUT PUTTING THE WORK IN IT! It's the obvious but it's the honest truth on what needs to be done. There is no way you are going to get through it if you never push the boundary. You won't get past judgement if you care more of what people think over your happiness and/or goals. You won't get through failure until you take a leap of faith and try it. Failure is only bad if you allow it to crush you; Failure is good if you change your perspective and learn from your mistakes. They are gifts to you to let you know you are on the right path but may need to change your route or change what you are looking to do because you learned your purpose. Personal insecurities are installed in everyone around you. The difference is removing the amount of control they have over you and taking the time to strengthen your viewpoints on yourself. You can do this through life coaching, therapist etc. Being in control of everything can be beneficial but tragic depending on how much or what you are trying to control. Learning what you can by learning your triggers and how to manage them is what places you in control. Ignoring what the issue is but putting a bandaid over it, doing a quick fix or using a fake face to cover it does nothing. When you go that route it will begin to control you since you are putting so much energy to make it look a different way opposed to accepting it's level of truth or area for you to address. Now that we broke that whole thing down...You need to be honest with yourself and do the work so you can move forward and stop missing amazing opportunities. Break the chain of holding yourself back and learn to live your life that's worth living. Question is....Are you ready? And if you are not sure where to start but you are ready to get started make sure to book your appointment! - Your Favorite Life Coach Nikki
Are New Year Resolutions A Waste Of Time?
During the last 2 weeks of the year everyone starts the "New Year New Me" or New Resolution goals etc. Depending on where you are in your life you may either feel amazing that the year is starting over so you can start a new journey or be annoyed with it and just say... It's another day lol Regardless of how you feel about it just know it doesn't impact those that choose to start their year differently. But get to a point of understanding that everyone has different routes of motivation. If you've had a really tough year and everything you can think of just didn't end the way you wanted it, the new year could be the excuse to start new things to change your perception. Most people that may find themselves annoyed with it tend to constantly add or remove different actions throughout the year depending on the outcome. They tend to adjust faster or not wait for the perfect time to take a leap of faith. And that is amazing to be able to move without lingering in something that has no benefit. The truth is...You do what makes you happy, what makes you at peace with yourself and most importantly focus on becoming an improved version of yourself. Any step you take in the positive direction is one to be proud of. 2017 - Improving my relationships with friends/family: Removing toxic people 2018 - My focus was to focus on self love and development 2019 - Focusing on keeping my mind strong while my body was weak/Setting Boundaries 2020 - Owning my shit and address it The past 3 years I've focused on myself, relationships and self balancing my life. Now it's time to break down and remove self imposed limited beliefs, challenge myself to step out of my bubble and put myself out there on main street. Questions to ask yourself and write down: 1. What gets you motivated to grow? - Starting the New Year with goals or new evaluations on a monthly/quarterly? 2. What have you tried in the past? Which was successful and which one lead to temporary growth? 3. Have you created an action plan to achieve any of your goals regardless of when you choose to start them? NOW THE QUESTION REMAINS...ARE YOU READY TO OWN YA SH*T? Remember: " A goal without an action plan is a dream" Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash Until next time... Your Favorite Life Coach Nikki!
Forgiveness...The Raw Truth
In the about me section of the website, I mentioned my journey and struggle with forgiving people that have wronged me. In my mind I thought forgiveness was only given to the wrongdoer so they could have their peace /closure for the wrongful actions they took. Because of that, I dug the feeling to forgive others so deep that it made it harder for me to find where I placed it. See I had it figured out that I was in control and remained on top because I didn't forgive people for their actions. That was honestly the worst thing I could have done but it was never explained to me how to truly address it or the truly value behind it. The frustration and anger that was caused created resentment and was starting to change my character. It put me in a position where trust was harder to give out, opening up to other people/family was struggle and just being myself around strangers just didn't feel right. I started sitting in my shit and realized I wasn't in control, I wasn't on top in fact....I lost. Truth was while I was sitting in my situation, I started looking at the people that hurt me. They were fine lol Truly fine. Not a care in the world. They were out there dating, traveling, making new memories and new friends etc. They didn't care on how it impacted me at all. Not saying they would but the reality was...they didn't care. That was my reality check! At that point, is when I put myself on top and was for the first time in the right position. I went through everything they did, realized how it changed me. I had to take accountability for where I was. See the hard pill to swallow, was I allowed myself to stay in that funk because I thought it was going to change them by watching how I changed. The truth was...they never checked for me. That feeling of anger and resentment I harbored had to end and I vowed to put in the work to resolve it ASAP. I put the work in by figuring out who I was and wanted to be. Wrote down what I didn't like and how I can change it. Then it hit me... I had to forgive them. It didn't matter what they did to me. It only mattered how it changed me, how important I am to myself and my self worth. They weren't worth my demise and nor did they care. So at that point, it made it easier to change and to forgive. This was the start of me changing my narrative.... "Forgiveness isn't for them...It's for YOU"
Why Cancer...Why? - Part 1
I wanted to have a transparent blog post to not only connect with anyone thats reading but most importantly share my experiences. I want to talk about the feeling of being numb. Yes, numb. Getting to a point of being so emotionally drained that nothing hurts, nothing makes you happy... just going through the day by day motions. A few years ago my family was delivered news that was totally unexpected. My grandmother was diagnosed with cancer about 3 years prior but it was in remission, Thank goodness! But the news confirmed that my grandfather whom we called "Poppy" had stage 4 colon cancer. The man that carried the weight of the family, gave me soo much wisdom and was so strong physically was about to fight for his life but didn't know where to start. While my grandparents were fighting for their lives to beat cancer. I made sure to focus on making them as comfortable as I could while emotionally supporting anyone that needed it in my family. To me that was the best thing I could do at the moment was just to be there and with everything going on I felt I was the strongest available. Not only was I able to be there for 90% the time but I didn't realize I was preparing my healing when the unimaginable would come. I watched them go through many changes but even during that time they both continued to pour into me with whatever they felt I needed. My entire support system was suffering and we all just had to figure it out day by day. I engrained the quote "One Step At A Time" to get me through my hardest days and through their hardest days. It allowed me to not only give myself the break I needed emotionally but calmed my mind when I had a million things and scenarios going on in my head. The reality settled in that this may be my last birthday with them alive. My poppy pushed me to continue my usual Big Birthday Weekend celebration and told me to enjoy it the best I could. The time came while I was watching TV on Sunday around 7pm when we received confirmation my Poppy passed in his sleep. This happened one week before my birthday. I felt all the air in my lungs escape, my body felt cold and numb. All I could do was kiss my Poppy on the forehead and tell him thank you. I thanked him for fighting for me. See, we had our disagreements when I was a teen but for some reason he was always pushing me harder and harder. I never understood why until I turned 17 and he told me how proud he was and who I've become. After that, we stopped fighting and turned every conversation into a life lesson. We continued that until he couldn't speak anymore. Even though he passed away, my heart was at peace... Unfortunately, my mind wouldn't stop going 100mph. Numbness settled in full effect. I felt lost, numb and had no way to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I knew it was there but wasn't sure which direction it was. All I knew is that my Poppy would fight to make sure the light was seen. I was afraid to fall asleep right after he passed away. Because if I woke up and things still remained as they were...it confirmed it wasn't a bad dream and it was reality. I waited 5 full days before I fell asleep. I was exhausted and was finally ready to accept reality. My sleep finally came and it the night before his funeral that I finally got my night of sleep. To me, I felt my Poppy was waiting for me to stop fighting and was going to be around me when I reached my limit. And he did! I started working on getting out of my "Stuck Feeling" and moved to place of growth and self development. I knew staying in that wasn't healthy and I wasn't sure how to get out of it at that time but knew I had to start somewhere. Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned. A few days later my grandmother passed away and I felt my body go completely cold and numb all over again. Now what.... Check in next Thursday for the next part! * Sharing my stories and experiences not only gives you insight on who I am but also gives you validation that you will be okay. Know that it's okay to ask for help. Go speak to a professional opposed to staying in that "stuck" feeling. * #LifeCoach #StepsInLife #MyStoryUnfiltered #Strength #Will #Fighting #CancerSucks #LearnHowToGreive #SelfDevelopment
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel
I'm going to be forthcoming, transparent and honest with this post....Continue reading and let me know your thoughts! Let's jump right in and I want you to ask yourself some questions to see if you can relate. Remember it only works or will hit home if you are honest with yourself first! I'm here to let you know that you are not the only one. I repeat....YOU ARE NOT ALONE. It's totally normal to get to a point and just not give a sh*t about how someone may feel or not agree with the route that you were pressured to take. Now it's time for you to get to a point where you stop apologizing for not being who they wanted you to become and stop feeling that it's your job to be PERFECT! Because it's not healthy and sh*t is fu*king draining. When you change your path to live your life according to your own set terms...I promise your quality of life will change. I won't lie and say it will all be fu*king perfect with all the bells and whistles. What i'm saying is you will live a life that has a sense of purpose and fulfillment opposed to "doing whats right or what's expected of you". Get rid of feeling the need to be perfect, get rid of the feeling of always doing what's right...Remove anything that is not working or on your terms. Start living for YOU. Life will still have it's ups and downs. There is no way to avoid it and to be honest that is what makes us into stronger and improved individuals. It's what transforms your DNA and makes You.... YOU. The biggest lesson is learning from your experiences opposed to letting it break you down while placing you into the dark tunnel. The only option you have left will require you to raise your head and continue moving forward. Don't sit in that feeling for too long. Embrace the feeling for the moment and remember what got you there and how it felt. Pick your head back up and realize there is no other way to go but up because you already hit rock bottom and can't go down any further. If you change your perspective on this it can be a gift in itself. I know you are reading this and wondering "How the fu*k is this a gift?! Is this chick crazy?" Now I won't lie to you and say I have all my screws tightened but that's not apart of this topic. The gift in hitting rock bottom is that you get to start over. You now know that the actions you took before did not work and was able to see what the outcome was with accepting how you felt. Acknowledge all of that sh*t. Take into account of who supported you and who didn't have your best interests at heart. This is the time you remove anyone that's toxic and start over. Remember some people are placed in your life for a season and some are placed for a different reason. Nowhere in that quote does it state that everyone that enters your life is supposed to be there forever. You just reached a point in your life where you're fed up with everything not going the way you want it be but ready to take back control. That is the first step in the right direction. Pick your head up and see the light of new beginnings! You got this!